If You Don't Read This Letter Now,You'll Hate Yourself Later
"How to Find Fresh, New Monologues - in Under 5 Minutes!"
"Here Is A New Source That Helps You Easily Outwit the Competition with Monologues Directors Have Never Heard Before..."
From: Chris Zavadowski
To: Serious Actors Looking for Fresh, New Monologues
Dear Internet Friend,
If you want a director to sit there in amazement during your audition as he (or she) listens to a monologue never heard before...
If you want to actually be remembered after your auditions...
And if you want to spend less time searching for new audition monologues...
...then this might just be the most important letter you'll ever read.
Now, I know those are some big promises and you're probably skeptical. That's healthy and normal (especially if you're in New York City). So let me first give you..
Two Good Reasons to Believe What I Say
Reason One: I'm an actor myself. I've studied with Broadway's top talent at NYU's prestigious "CAP21", Broadway Dance Center and with the Manhattan School of Music's vocal department chair. If there's anything I hate more about auditions...it's searching for an audition monologue that people haven't heard.
Heck, I hate searching for monologues in general, don't you?
That's why for years I've been looking for an easier way. "The Lazy Actor's Way", you could call it.
(But more about that in a minute.)
I'm also a successful director and musical director. Recently, I was part of the Sondheim Celebration at the Kennedy Center, and I just assisted Eric Schaeffer on the new production of 110 In The Shade at Signature Theatre (working with Harvey Schmidt and Tom Jones of The Fantasticks fame and Jonathan Tunick, Broadway's legendary orchestrator). I also performed in the production alongside the likes of Matt Bogart and Jacqui Piro.
Before that, I was chosen to direct the Virginia premier of the Off-Broadway musical Little By Little, a new production of COLE and I'm booked for two new upcoming shows. (In college, I even won the "Helen Hayes Award for my Outstanding Contributions to Theater"!)
(And if you still don't believe I'm real, call my number at the bottom of the page and grill me for a few minutes!)
Now that you know I'm for real, let's get into the good stuff...
Give Me Five Minutes --
And I'll Show You How to Find a Monologue
Directors Have Never Heard Before
That's right, friend.
In the next five minutes you might qualify for access to my secret collection of monologues. A collection I've never revealed anywhere before.
Isn't it time you stop finding monologues the hard way?
You know what I mean: Going down to the library. Randomly grabbing a pile of plays. Pulling up a chair. And just hoping you'll find something that remotely looks like a fresh monologue.
Before you know it, many hours have gone by and you're still sitting there. Rubbing your tired eyes. Too much time wasted looking through plays. Only to find a monologue ten other people did at your last audition.
Or maybe you take the "easier" approach...
You go after the monologue collections first. Flipping page after page. But again, you end up finding the same, rehashed monologues in each collection. Nothing fresh. Nothing new.
You're even more frustrated than when you started, right?
I've been there. It sucks.
That's Why I Went On A Special Search...
A quest to find new monologues, if you will.
I'm not talking about ones that my 13-year-old cousin wrote, or monologues some "wanna-be" playwright wrote in high school. I wanted to find professionally written theater monologues that no one knew about.
And I knew there had to be a way. They had to exist somewhere.
So 13 months ago, I started out just like you. Jumping over to Google.com. Typing in "monologues". And searching through site after site.
Only to find nothing.
"Fresh" Monologues Just Didn't Exist Online...
I finally found a hidden source of "fresh", professional monologues. Audition pieces that today's directors have most likely never heard.
And guess what? They weren't online. I've had them shipped in to me from all over the globe (yes, I've even received some packages from other English-speaking countries!).
I didn't hire someone to write these, and I didn't write these myself. These are professionally written theater monologues from yesteryear.
Countless hours were spent hunting down and digging up every last one I could find.
And guess what happened?
My friends started coming to me for audition pieces!
Over and over again, they wanted to know what killer piece to use at the next auditions.
So I knew I was on to something...
That's when I realized I had to share my private collection with you.
But OOPS! I'm getting ahead of myself!
Let me first tell you a little bit about what's in my secret monologue library...
Introducing...the "Long Lost Monologues" Collection!
- Over 71 "Long Lost" Monologues (These aren't the same tired, worn-out monologues that you'll hear ten times a day, but fresh ones that 99.9% of all directors have never even seen or heard!)
- Monologues for Both Men and Women, Teens and Young Adults (So you don't get stuck with one of those "Top Ten Monologues For Boys from 1989" type collections - BOTH sexes and all ages have equal access and opportunity!)
- Monologues for every situation (It doesn't matter if you're auditioning for a college program, a community production...or your next Broadway show. There's something for every instance!)
- 4 Different Monologue "Long Lost" Monologue Books - and Growing! (You don't want to get stuck with the same playwright's style of language, do you? Don't you want a wide variety of styles?)
- More "Hidden" Monologue Sources Being Added Regularly (Just because there are 71 monologues in the site doesn't mean there won't be more being added. In fact, our team is securing rights for more monologues as I write this letter to you!)
- Completely Delivered 100% Online (That's right, you don't have to wait for them to come in the mail! If your membership is approved, you'll get immediate access to the secret library. We spent countless hours converting them to a digital format - so you can access them immediately!)
- Lifetime Membership (I know money is tight when you're an actor! Don't think you'll be paying some kind of monthly membership at this site. Once you're in, you're in for life!)
- Comedic and Humorous Monologues (Looking for something sexist? Polically incorrect? A shocker? I've got some for you!)
- Long-Form Monologues (Don't worry about having too little material anymore! Some of these monologues are pages long!)
- And you have complete permission to edit them as needed! Want a 30 second monologue? Then take a 30 second clipping! Need a 90 second piece? You got it! A two minute monologue? One minute monologue? All here!
- Dialect Monologues (Southern, Irish, African American, Ethnic and more! Don't worry about just having "American" only monologues!)
- Experienced Playwrights (You may not have heard of these playwrights. In fact, that's the idea of "never-before-seen" pieces right? They wouldn't be secret if everyone knew about them. But I promise you they have enjoyed some wonderful successes!)
- Free Update Emails with Tips and Hints (You don't just get access to the site, but from time to time, I'll send out new resources. New tips. New ideas. How many actors and directors provide ongoing support and communication with you these days? I'll bet none.)
- Personal Performance License! (Ladies and gentlemen, this is worth EVERYTHING right here. As a LongLostMonologues.com member, you - and this is ONLY for members - are allowed to perform these pieces in any venue, any time. You don't have to secure rights or royalties. I've done all the legal homework for you.
Sound Too Good To Be True?
Don't Take My Word For It.
See What People Are Saying About These Monologues:
"To Whom It May Concern: I have been a public entertainer for the past fifteen years specializing in negro dialect selections. I consider Mr. Hare's monologue 'A Black Blue-grass Widow' the funniest and most effective dialect reading I have ever presented. His "A Cullud Lady at the Telephone" and 'The Glory Car' are equally true to life pictures. These are sure-fire hits and are always greeted with roars of laughter."
W.E. Vaughan, Professor
"...I can see how those clever monologues make rattling good material...The ideas in them are very natural, and the dialect phonetically well-nigh perfect."
"When any of my entertainers use your monologues I know that the audiences are going to get just exactly what they want. 'The Sin of Steve Audaine' is the greatest dramatic reading ever written. You have a wonderful style, and more than that you know 'all the tricks of the trade.'
Emma Dee Randle reports that she has given several of your monologues in all parts of the country, in fact she gives at least one every night, and they go over better than any of the other numbers in her repertoire of over two hundred selections."
Now, you're probably wondering…
Why I'm Sharing These Monologues With You
Because I know what it's like to be in your shoes.
Thumbing through hundreds of plays. Looking through collection after collection and seeing the same monologues over and over.
And let's face it.
There are hundreds, if not thousands of auditions happening every month. Most of the monologue sources you have used are mass published. You can find them in any bookstore. Any catalogue. Even online at Amazon.com.
Everyone can get them.
But the monologues at this site are only available online here. And in the offline world, you'd be hard-pressed to find these in your local bookstore or even specialty store.
Yes, they are that rare!
So if even if you pick the same monologue that someone else uses - the chances of you both ever using them at the same audition (or even for the same director) are almost zero.
Plus I'm severely limiting access to my "secret" monologue library.
Because I don't want the audition world to get saturated with these audition pieces.
Many people won't even qualify to get inside. So let me ask you...
Do You Qualify for Unlimited Access to These
1) Do you want to find monologues they've never heard before?
2) Are you embarrassed by your current choice of audition monologues?
3) Would you like to spend less time searching for monologues and more time rehearsing, auditioning and performing?
4) Do you honestly want to be remembered after each audition?
If you could answer "yes" to any of the questions above, then you definitely qualify for instant access (if you're not too late).
But first, I need to alert you to something...
Warning: Do NOT buy Any Monologue Solution
Unless It Meets The Following 6 Criteria
There is a lot of confusion surrounding our field. I want to give you 6 criteria or elements you absolutely, positively must have in any solution you obtain:
One: The material is "fresh" -- it's not the same old stuff that makes a director's eyes roll in the back of his head and immediately tune out. You want a wide variety. You want ALL kinds of monologues and performance pieces...for all different types of people and roles, right?
Two: A steady stream of fresh choices. Let's face it, our pieces get old. We grow out of them. Or sometimes, we need to find something better. But the more you have access to...the better. (Just like the more you perform and audition...the better you get.)
Three: You want performance rights. Even though people break the law every day in auditions, wouldn't you like to know YOU were the one who had integrity and the rights to perform your pieces? And with those rights, you want permission to hack them up and edit as much as you want!
Four: You want a monologue collection to save you time. Sure, you may want to hunt down a play or hunt for even more monologues, but you don't want to always have to read shelf by shelf, play by play.
Five: You want it to be created by someone IN theater. Don't you hate when people who are in some other field try to help you out, but don't have any clue? You want someone in the trenches with you, too.
Six: The opportunity to "mastermind" with other actors and get even more audition ideas. The more you know, the more jobs you'll get. (More about this in a minute.)
So by now, you're probably wondering...
"How Much Is A One-Time Membership?"
Well...let me ask you something: How important is winning your next theater audition? What would you pay to have the ultimate advantage?
Heck, how much is your time worth?
Do you enjoy sitting in the library next to a pile of books, with your eyes in pain while you flip through yet ANOTHER overdone monologue book or play? Only to find the same monologue everyone else uses.
Or what about paying someone to write you a custom monologue? The cost on eLance.com for a freelance writer starts at $200. How many hours of waiting tables it that?
(Not to mention you usually end up with a half-assed monologue by someone who doesn't understand theater! And unless you're a well-trained playwright...don't even think of attempting it yourself.)
On Amazon.com, the monologue collections average about $11.95 a piece. Buy just 5 books (less than the amount of books we have in the member area), and you'll spend $59.75. Plus shipping!
Hours of your time wasted in the library. $200 on a private writer. $59.75 on books. Shipping costs. Well over $259.75 of your money (not to mention your time) spent.
All to find one monologue they haven't heard.
Now I understand money is tight. That's why I don't want to come anywhere close to $259.75 for your investment.
So I was going to start at half that and charge $129.
Even though it would be a bargain, because this is completely delivered online, and I have very low overhead costs. I couldn't bring myself to do it. That's why...
I've Decided On Something More Reasonable!
$59 for lifetime membership to LongLostMonologues.com!
since this site is still being tested and added to, I don't feel
it's even fair to charge you the full amount yet. So guaranteed for the
next 7 days, if you respond
right away, access to the entire private area is ONLY a one-time
Note: The price will most likely go up when more monologues are
added, so you definitely want to lock in your lifetime access NOW and save over $219.78.)
|"I am beginning to feel a little guilty about how little I paid for all that you have provided, particularly for your tireless support. The knowledge I am acquiring, I can not put a $ amount on.
I already know that the info you provided is priceless. Thanks a bunch."
In summary, here's what you get:
A lifetime "membership" to LongLostMonologues.com, access to the entire library as it grows, performance rights to ALL of our monologues (for you ONLY), editing rights to ALL of our monologues, update emails and tips, and most importantly...you're getting back hours of your precious time.
(Heck, when can you even find time to get to the library in between your two jobs and 7 auditions?)
I understand you may be skeptical, so I've put together a special guarantee...
You Can't Lose With My 110% Satisfaction,
365-day, Ironclad, Money-Back Guarantee
Now listen. Obviously I can't guarantee how well you'll USE the monologues. I don't know your background or your training. Or even if you have any talent. Heck, I don't know you (yet).
So that's why I won't consider your access binding until you've had a chance to get in and look through these rediscovered gems for an entire year.
Your satisfaction is assured through my you-can't-lose, no risk, you've-never-seen-these-monologues-before, no-questions-asked, iron-clad moneyback guarantee! Try unlimited access to our site for an entire year, go through all of the bonuses, and use the monologues as much as possible!
for any reason you aren't thrilled and satsified with the
package, just send me a personal email and I'll cheerfully cancel
your access and issue you a no-questions-asked refund right on the
spot for 100% of your investment.
It doesn't even matter if you email me 364 days from today!
And to encourage you to take IMMEDIATE action, I've decided to sweet the pot.
If You Act By Midnight
Monday, June 01, 2020,
You'll Receive the Following Free Bonuses!
Since I know it's 100% to your benefit to act right away, I want to sweeten the pot and give you every possible reason to qualify today (while access is still available)!
If you respond within the next 72 hours, I guarantee you'll also get for FREE:
Bonus One: Anonymous Insider Theater
Secrets ($47.00 Value)
Here's the super-secret theater book that no actor, producer or director has ever laid eyes on - because they never knew it existed! I've got one of the last remaining copies left in the entire world. And here's the beauty…it's yours completely FREE if you qualify for access!
It took me hours and hours of digging and researching high and low to finally uncover this rare and TIMELESS manuscript.
I don't remember the instant I first heard about it, but immediately after I heard the name of this book, I KNEW I had to have it immediately. And it didn't matter to me what the price of this manuscript was.
So, what's it called? The Truth About The Theater. Written anonymously in 1916 by a famous theater manager. This is a RARE find, indeed! In fact, you can try searching for this yourself. And you'll come back empty-handed.
This book is still shocking today!
Why? Because it shatters all "perfect" perceptions of the stage world. You'll feel like you are reading about theater in 2003, not 1916! You'll get insights and truths about what it REALLY takes to succeed.
Do you think you have what it takes to make it in theater? Do NOT decide until you read this book. It reveals the dark, "evil" side of theater, too.
I'll tell you straight up: This book is NOT for the faint of heart. It really does talk about the "truth" of the theater, especially New York City. And it's not always a pretty sight.
To allow you time to go through the monologues and not become overwhelmed, this bonus gets delivered 30 days after you become a member.
Bonus Two: My
One Page Audition Secret Step ($29.00 Value)
Delivered 60 days after your membership, I've used this one-page "secret" step to land more gigs and more contacts than you can shake a stick at!
You may be disappointed at first when you find out what it is. I probably would be, too.
But I promise, the proof is in the pudding! 95% of the time I've used this...it's resulted in a theater job!
Bonus Three: Alix Korey's Killer Composer
List ($125.00 Value)
If you haven't heard of Alix Korey, let me tell you a little bit about her Broadway credits alone:
An Evening With Jerry Herman (standby for Florence Lacey & Lee Roy Reams); Triumph of Love (standby for Betty Buckley); Ain't Broadway Grand (Harriet); Cinderella (Wicked Stepsister); Showboat (Ellie May); Is There Life After High School?; Pirates of Penzance (Edith); Hello, Dolly! (1978 Revival - Minnie Fay).
Not to mention her solo albums Songs You Might Have Missed and Gifts of Love.
Yes, I know this is a monologue site. But I know you probably go out for some musical auditions, too. Especially considering how many exist.
And to get properly prepared, you need just the right combination of composers in your audition book.
Alix has devised an extremely clever sheet. It breaks all the major composers into 5 groups. Just pick one from each category and you're well on your way.
(Remember, it's the "lazy actor's way"!)
today, ONLY her personal students had immediate access to this information!
At last count, people were willing to pay Alix $125.00/hour
for her time. She's that GOOD!
But as a member of this site, you get her indispensable composer list for FREE just 90 days after you take me up on my no-risk offer!
Now You're Probably Wondering Why I Called This
A 110% Satisfaction Guarantee
why: Whether you decide to cancel your membership within the
next year or not, you get to keep ALL of the bonuses (valued at
$201.00). It's my way of saying "thanks for trying it out."
Now go back and re-read what I just said.
Where in the theater world do you get a guarantee like that? Does Yale give you a refund if you're not happy? What about a bookstore letting you return a monologue collection you don't like?
It won't happen.
No matter what, you can keep all of the bonuses. No hard feelings.
You win either way.
"I always need to find fresh monologues to audition with. Of course once I sift through..I find the same run-of-the-mill monologues. Some bland. Some boring. Some great, but waaaay overused.
Your new resource not only lets me find new monologues in the comfort of my own home, but so far I have yet to find a monologue that I've already heard!
Now I can impress directors with material they've NEVER heard, while all the rest are auditioning with the same old stuff, wondering where I came up with it. You're CRAZY not to charge monthly for this resource!
Michael Murrary, Actor
Here's How To Get Your Hands On The
"Long Lost" Monologues RIGHT NOW!
Remember how I said you get INSTANT access?
Well here's how that works.
be taken to a secure
order page for your information. I use a third party processor
(Authorize.net) - so your billing information is 100% secure.
fact, it's impossible for anyone other than the processor
or your bank to see your billing details (that's why most banks
never hold you liable for unauthorized charges).
Once you get authorization for entry, you'll be taken to a page where you get your own exclusive "key" to the private library.
access to the monologues. Instant
access to the bonuses.
You'll be in the members-only area in a matter of minutes!
(Forget having to pay for shipping and waiting a week for everything to arrive!)
you get your lifetime membership set up, scan through the monologues,
download them in Adobe .PDF (a free program available for both Macs
and PCs - complete directions are in the members area!), print out
a few of the ones you like. Try some monologues for a few weeks. And enjoy the bonuses.
The ONLY Way You Can Lose Is By Passing
This Up And Not Becoming A Member Today!
I'm saying is, don't decide now how long you'll use our site, or
if it's for you. Just get
your access and try some "long lost monologues"
out at a few auditions.
You've got an entire 365 days to make up your mind once you get into the member area!
My theater friends think I'm certifiably nuts to offer such a great deal and incredible guarantee. I can't promise I won't be raising the price soon, especially after the test period ends and I start adding new monologues.
There's really nothing left to say. I've done just about everything possible to help you get a fresh, new monologue right away.
fact, if there's something I haven't done (short of giving memberships
away) that you think I should have - let me know. Otherwise, it'll
be a huge mystery if you don't snatch up your copy today.
You simply click below - and I'll do the rest.
What are you waiting for?
Isn't it time to get instant access to the monologues you're competition doesn't want you to find?
To Your Success,
- I almost forgot! To ensure these "new"
monologues don't become overused, our supply of access to the site is very
limited. In fact, only 500 actors are promised access. Considering
there are hundreds of thousands of actors all over the world - that's
a VERY small percentage. I can only guarantee you'll get access
to our monologue collection, "The Truth About The Theater",
Alix's Killer Composer Sheet and my One Page Secret if you order right away.
So don't delay. Act now before you head off to your next audition. Click here for access.
P.P.S. - Remember: Whatever happens, don't feel rushed to decide. If your new monologue collection doesn't do everything I say and more, if you don't save money, time and frustration, if you aren't remembered after more auditions or if it doesn't work for you, you have nothing to worry about because you can cancel at any time during the next year. And get every dime of your investment back under our no-loopholes guarantee.
So you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Heck, there is no risk on your part at all! Don't be left in the dust. Take action NOW.
Existing Members: Click Here to Login
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